Hey, check out the thermometer on the right: 96%! Very exciting progress. If you would like to help us reach 100%, please click here: http://www.covchurchgiving.com/p-446-missionary-heather-askew.aspx
May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013
OK, not gonna lie, the past few
months have been pretty intense. I just read a post by someone who refers to
herself as the “worst missionary ever” and it was about transparency in
missions. So, I was thinking that I would write a bit about what has been
happening in our lives. Working in ministry is not all fun and games and
changing the world. Sometimes, it’s just downright hard and exhausting. March
and April were packed with great events and a team from my church coming, which
was awesome, but I think for me the most significant thing about that time is
that I was starting to feel so overworked and stretched so thin that I was
about to have a nervous breakdown. Trying to juggle working with two
ministries, plus parenting a teenager as a single parent meant that I was
working constantly, taking almost no time for myself and basically spending no
time with God at all. This is a recipe for disaster, in case you were thinking
of giving it a try. The result of this was that I was not doing anything well,
not parenting well, not teaching well, not sleeping well, not eating well, just
not treating myself or anyone else well. I think that because I have a tendency
to be a workaholic and because I feel this massive responsibility to ensure
that my supporters are “getting their money’s worth” I push myself to take on
everything that anyone asks of me, to the detriment of all projects.
Basically, it all came to a head
when my pastor, Pastor Doug, took me to dinner and just said, point blank,
“You. Are. A. Mess. What are you going to do to fix that?” I finally realized
that while I was used to working 14-18 hour days, 6 days a week in film, that
was usually for a maximum of 3 months and then I would get a long break, at
least 2 weeks, sometimes up to 6 weeks to recuperate and reset myself
physically and mentally before jumping back into the crazy schedule. I finally understand
that that is unsustainable in the long term, especially being a parent now.
Even though parenting is part of everyday life in the US, any adoptive parent
of older internationally adopted children will tell you that it is most
definitely hard work, full of unexpected challenges that can blindside you at
times. Which brings me to my next topic: Sophie.
In April, we spent a great week
in Bangkok for Sophie’s birthday and we had a nice relaxing time at our
Covenant Thailand Mission retreat, but May is and has been a particularly hard
time for her. This is the month that marks the anniversary of her parents’
deaths and I think that now it has been a couple years, it’s becoming more real
to her. Add to that the fact that she is now 16 and has all the frustrations of
any other 16 year old, and the fact that we are from different cultures, and
situations can easily spiral out of control. I have been making more of an
effort to research parenting strategies for teens and adopted teens, cross
cultural communication, and reading forums for adoptive parents with other
stories and advice, as well as spending time with a counselor brainstorming
ideas for how to improve the relationship between Sophie and myself. I think I
have a better handle on how I can respond to Sophie’s moods and developing
adulthood in the future.
My first steps in stopping the
downward spiral into insanity have been to cease going to teach in Mae Taeng
twice a week. While I enjoyed spending time with the ladies there and
developing relationships, it just takes so much time and is so far away (a
little over an hour drive in a car each direction). Thankfully, Jeanne, another
Covenant missionary, is still available to continue teaching, so the workers
will still have the opportunity to work on and develop their English skills.
Second, we have a new addition to
our leadership team at Taw Saeng: Bootsaba! She is wonderful with the kids and such
a great addition to our team. Best of all, she has a degree in Evangelism and
Bible teaching, so she is able to take over for Ahna and I in teaching Bible to
the kids. That means that Thursdays are all Thai, all day. So, I am going to be
taking those days off and spend time with God, spend time developing
relationships with my Thai friends who I have not gotten to see in the past few
months, and taking time to rest. We now have enough staff to be able to offer
this option to everyone on our team. Everyone will have the chance to take a
day off or leave early one day a week, which I think will be good for morale.
This additional time will allow
me to prep for Taw Saeng classes in the mornings while Sophie is at school and
free me up to spend more time with her in the evenings, helping with homework, or
just hanging out and watching TV together. I am sorry I have been neglecting
this little corner of the internet, but hope that my lightened schedule will
change that as well. Thank you for all of your support and prayers and patience
as we continue through this difficult time of adolescence. My goal is to write a more upbeat recap of
the past couple months at some point this week.
