Headed for Juvie

As you can see by the thermometer on the right, I am currently at 98% of my total budget raised (still need about $2500 for the next two years)
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Wow, I totally thought I had written about everything that happened in November and early December but clearly, that was all in my imagination. Sorry to keep you hanging! So, last I wrote, we were preparing to go to the Juvenile Department for interviews. That was on November 15, and they were supposed to interview me, Sophie, Ning and Sophie’s teacher from last year, who helped us get all her homework and keep the administration from making Sophie repeat 7^th grade. Unfortunately, Ning had to go to a seminar on that morning, so she asked me to tell them she would come the following afternoon.

The morning of the 15^th, it was pouring rain, which is unusual for November, but I was trying not to think of it as a bad sign. The interviews were at a juvenile correction facility (which I didn’t understand til the following day) on some beautiful grounds. We arrived there just on time, but the lawyer was late (shocking, I know). So, we signed in, and when the lawyer finally showed up, they called me in with him to give them some papers and ask a few questions. The interviews were in a tiny room with two social workers (I guess that is what they would be considered.) I was really nervous because I really had no idea what to expect, but the lady who interviewed all of us was really nice. So, the entire interview was conducted in Thai. And it took an hour and a half for me. Let me tell you, my brain was so tired after that interview. But, to my credit, I understood about 95% of the questions. The lady was really good at rephrasing to simpler questions if I didn’t understand, so that was really helpful. At the end of the interview, she told me she was really surprised that I had only been here for a year and a half, because my Thai was so good. I always love hearing that. :)

Basically, she asked me questions about everything in my life. Where I was born, what did I do before I came to Thailand, why did I come, how did I meet Sophie, did I know her parents, how did she come live with me, how do I take care of her when she is sick (that started the whole story of the TB, which she seemed really impressed by), how involved am I in school, how much money do we have, how much does our house cost, etc. One of the things she asked about was basically why did I think that I should be her mom. I didn’t really understand what she was asking, so she said, ‘OK, you are Christian, right? So, do you feel like God sent you here for her?” And I was like “Oh, yeah, actually I do. Here, let me tell you about the crazy story that brought me here at exactly the right time.” After I told her all this, about how I had been pursuing foster parenting in the States, but then God told me to come to Thailand instead, she was like, “so, it was, what is the word in English?.....DESTINY!” I had to laugh, cause that was pretty much it! While it was nervewracking and I kept feeling like there was more I should say, because all the questions felt so sterile, somehow, not really emotional, I still think it went well.

After they finished with me, they talked to Sophie for about 40 minutes, and asked her things like: why do you live with Heather, how does she treat you, do you have any problems, do you want to stay with Heather, what did she do when you were in the hospital, did she know your parents? One question that was funny to me was when they asked her why she liked to live with me, she said because I was a good person and took good care of her. So the lady asked “Ok, if someone else who was a good person and could take good care of you came along, would you want to go live with them instead?” Sophie answered “No, because I have lived with Heather for a long time and she is my mom now. We have a close relationship.” Later, my Thai teacher was asking about the interviews and I was telling her what Sophie said, my Thai teacher stopped me and asked what word Sophie used. I remembered that she had used a word I didn’t understand and when I asked her to explain what it meant, she said it meant a close relationship. My Thai teacher said, “Oh, was it this word?” I was like “Oh!  Yeah! That’s it.” She said, “OK, we use the translation for ‘close relationship’ when speaking about close friends or aunts, cousins, like that, people who it would be hard if we were separated, but we would survive. This word, we use for family. When we use this word, it means that our hearts are woven together, that if we were separated from one another, it would be so painful that we would die.” How sweet is that?

Later, Sophie told me, “um, P’Heather, I kind of lied a little bit to the lady.” I was like “WHAT? WHY?!” She said, “Well, she asked me if my mom knew you, right, and I said that after she died Kru Ning told me that my mom had said she wanted me to go live with you. I don’t know if that’s true or not.” It cracked me up, but I told her she didn’t need to lie about anything, and she should always tell the truth when people ask this stuff.

After Sophie’s interview was done, they called in her teacher. Her interview lasted about 30 minutes, and they just asked her about school stuff, like if I was involved with her schoolwork, and came to PTA meetings and stuff, and the teacher told her about me getting Sophie a tutor to keep up with her studies while she was in the hospital.

After we were all done, the social worker came out to talk to us and said, “OK, all three of you talked about Ning, so I definitely need to talk to her tomorrow to corroborate all your stories.” (OK, obviously I am paraphrasing. I can’t really translate corroborate).

Friday, I picked up Ning and we drove back out to Juvie again. I guess Ning didn’t really understand why we were going there because she knew it was Juvie, but after her interview, she understood why they had to do the interviews there. That was the first time I understood that we had been at the Juvie hall all day the day before! The social worker talked to Ning for about an hour and a half also, just like me, and asked her all the same questions she had asked me and Sophie, but Ning had even more insight, because she is the one who really talked to Sophie’s mom about this, and she is the one who is responsible for giving me Sophie in the first place. She had to explain her actions to them and really vouch for me as a good person, so I think that without her testimony, we would not have had a good outcome. They asked her if I was “tjing tjai,” which means having a true or pure heart, and of course she assured them that I was. I think it’s good that they do such thorough interviews because I know there is a probably a lot of people who have dishonorable intentions in adopting kids, so it’s good that they try to be really sure before just handing over kids to foreigners.